To My Sweet Baby Girl,
You have only been a part of this world for a few short days. Time has both stood still and flown by. I can count the number of hours of sleep I’ve had on one hand. But it’s worth it.
It’s the early hours of the morning and the only place you want to be is cuddled on top of me. You cry and my heart breaks thinking you are sad. I haven’t learned how to soothe you yet, but I am trying. Oh, am I trying! I am more exhausted than I have ever been in my life. I am scared and wondering if I have what it takes to be your mama…
But then, I remind myself that you are brand new. You are just figuring out how to be in this crazy, big world. And I am figuring out how to be your mama. We can learn together, baby girl.
After all, it’s only been 3 days and you have already taught me so much!
After 9 long months and 24 hours of labor, I have learned that I am stronger than I ever believed possible. I endured the aches and pains, the stretch marks, and later, your little legs kicking me while I was sleeping, or working, or driving. All the while, my body nurtured you and then brought you into the world.
I have learned that I can love a person I barely even know, completely and unconditionally. From your first breathe to my last, I will love you with all my heart. Others can only attempt to accurately describe a mother’s love, but until you experience it yourself, you can’t really know.
You have taught me a whole new level of patience. I can’t just crawl into bed and cry when I am frustrated and don’t know what to do. You need me and now I will keep trying, forever, to make sure you are healthy and happy and well cared for.
I will never forget your baby days: the way you suck in your bottom lip, or how you coo and whimper in your sleep, or the warmth of your brand new baby body in my arms. These days are long and they are so hard, but also amazing in ways I could never imagine. And I know they won’t last forever. We will have a lifetime of moments together as a family. Moments of love, and laughter, and learning together. So many memories yet to be made.
This is just the beginning for us.
*This was originally written in June 2015, one sleepless night when my daughter was first home from the hospital. I have since revised and edited my sleep deprived ramblings into this post.