More Than Mama

More Than Mama


I am called mama.

But who am I?

What do I do that’s just for me?

I used to do a lot of things. I used to spend hours researching my family history and would be so excited to uncover something new. I used to knit scarves and crochet blankets. I started a baby blanket for A over a year ago, and it just sits, unfinished, a constant reminder of the free time I don’t have. I used to go for walks alone, thinking or just marveling at the beauty of nature. I used to practice yoga and meditate. I used to exercise (sometimes). I used to binge watch Netflix all day long. Or sit in bed with a book until it was finished. When was the last time I even finished a book? Or watched a movie?

Being called “mama” is wonderful. My baby girl makes me so happy and so exhausted and so everything all at once!

But I am more than mama. I am more.

There’s never enough time. My sweet A needs me for everything. Either I am working all day and spending the evenings trying to make up for time spent away from my girl or I am spending the whole day caring for her. Even when she sleeps, there are things to be done. Laundry needs to be folded, dishes need to be washed, the house needs cleaning, not to mention I need a few minutes to shower myself. Once that is done, my husband and I like to spend time together, catching up on a show or just talking about our days. And then it’s time to sleep, because, with a baby or toddler you never know how much sleep will actually be happening. Right?
When I can find a few extra minutes to work out or read or just lay in bed and do nothing, I feel so guilty! Mom-guilt is a serious thing. How can I possibly want to spend time away from A, especially now that I am away from her at work during the day? So I don’t take time for myself.
All this just leads to a seriously burnt out mama. An overtired and over emotional version of myself. 
Self-care is really important. I need to take the time to care for myself. I need to make myself a priority. I know I will be able to be a better mama to A and a better wife to my husband. I will feel less tired, less anxious, and so much happier.
I have made a few self-care resolutions. And I need to stick to them!
1. Exercise– even if it means waking up at the crack of dawn to work out before work. If I can get into a routine, it won’t be so hard (I hope). I’d like to set a good example for my daughter and lead a healthy lifestyle.
2. Drink less wine (eek)– I use wine as a reward after a long day at work. Telling myself, “I worked so hard today, I deserve this!” Drinking less will certainly be better for my health and my wallet! I am going to save it for weekends and special occasions.
3. Stop feeling guilty about me-time– it’s ok to spend 30 minutes blogging or reading or whatever! My husband fully supports my need for time to myself and encourages it. I just have to get over my mom-guilt and do something for myself once in awhile. Things will not fall apart in my absence…things will not fall apart…
I am called mama.
But I am also called wife, daughter, sister, friend.
And maybe most importantly…
I am called Emily.

The Pramshed

Domesticated Momster

16 thoughts on “More Than Mama

  1. Yes. A million times yes. This is perfection. It’s so easy to be consumed by motherhood, to forget our pre-mum identity. It is so important to remember and nourish the woman we were before kids <3

  2. I too am a daughter, sister, mother and now a grandmother what a fantastic journey, and i am very proud that God blessed me, with you, for a daughter, Emily. Your journey has just begun.

  3. Hahaha wine can only make you feel better! But I wrote about this not long ago, I literally don’t even own a handbag anymore and its hard and its shit and I feel like a mym all the time. There is literally no time for me to be me. I hope it gets a bit better for you and you can let me know what it’s like to be yourself again!
    Thank you for joining in with #prettyinplaydough- see you next week!

    1. I never use a handbag either! It’s so hard being mama all the time, day and night, but worth it. I think blogging has been a great way to find me again. I look forward to participating next week!

  4. I love this. It’s so easy to get lost in being a parent isn’t it. I still feel guilty now and my daughter is 10! There needs to be more hours in the day to fit everything all in doesn’t there! #prettyinplaydough

  5. Well put. I find it is such a struggle to find the right amount of me time or couple time. Sometimes it’s obvious that we aren’t getting enough, and other times I feel pressure to make more of it because I think it’s healthy but then I don’t know what to do with it and I just miss my daughter.

    Good luck in your quest to remember the Emily part of you!

  6. Hi Emily! I think a lot of us can relate to your post, including me. Being a Mama is so hard, and enduring the Mummy guilt makes it so much harder. But you’re right we all need to take time for ourselves, so that we can reclaim a little bit of us that we had before having children. I think that exercise is brilliant way to shake off the day, and make us feel better. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    1. It’s so hard! There’s never enough time and when I do have time, I want to spend it with my daughter. I’m afraid I have only exercised…once…since I wrote this post! That’s something I still need to work on. But at least I have been making time for blogging! Thanks for reading.

  7. Absolutely love this as it is so relatable to probably all moms. I was doing so good with the exercising and not drinking at the beginning of the year. Then summer vacation hit and now I feel like I ask myself everyday “Is noon too early to start drinking?” I couldn’t wait to not have to deal with school runs but now I am missing my “me” time. It’s a catch 22. Thanks so much for linking up with #momsterslink and I apologize for my delay in commenting as it’s been one busy summer! Hope to see you again tomorrow!

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